Harvard Day 3…last post, I promise

2 Jul

Alright…so, someone took the challenge! You will not be sorry.

Of the four pieces of criticism from your dinner party, pick the one you need to work on most. Rank them on a scale of 1 to 5. One means you need to fix it, but not fixing it won’t stop you from the Self-Improvement you need to be truly happy. I am assuming of course, that self-improvement directly links to your career fulfillment, as well.  Meaning, if I don’t improve this trait/habit/quirk about me, then I won’t be satisfied. My life will not be satisfying, and I cannot afford to live knowing that I know how to make it the best! Five means your issue is of major importance to your career, to your self-improvement goals, to…you!


Verbalize it! Phrase it out loud to hear yourself say whatever it is that you need to work on. Say it…c’mon, say it! “My biggest flaw I need to work on is…”


Now that you’ve chosen an Improvement Goal, list what you do to perpetuate it.  What are the strategies you use to sustain that behavior.  That’s right! You have behaviors you knowingly engage in that stop you from improving on the issue at hand. For example, if it’s procrastination, then you’d list the things you do that divert your attention from getting the big job accomplished. Take some time and really look at your behavior. List the habits you’ve built in to your everyday behaviors. Think about the things that shield you from doing what you should do.

Make the list. Do it!

Make a list of the things you are not doing that would end that behavior. For example, using procrastination again…you know you have a task to complete.  What SHOULD you do? You know you should finish the task, so write down the behaviors that would help you overcome this fault.


Draw a box. Inside the box write down the things you worry will not be accomplished if you don’t overcome your fault? Write down the worries that scare you about your life…is it failure at home, is it failure at work, is it failure in your mission? However, be specific. What specific things are you worried about that will occur if you don’t fix your flaw. Think of it in these terms…If I continue to procrastinate, I will never complete my Masters…I will let my family down, I will be of little value at work, I will never move up the ladder. What is the bottom line if you don’t improve?


Now write a commitment statement that is in the double negative. “I will not not avoid doing what I know needs to ge done.” Or, “I will not not take on other tasks that stop me from completing my large one.”  Yes, I know it’s a double negative. Yes, I DID teach English for 16 years…guess what? So did Dr. Kegan and he’s smarter tha about everyone I know…added together….so, go with it…


You know what? The double negative is really important! You have exhibited behaviors that people see as flaws. Also, you have created, nay, developed behaviors that perpetuate this behavior.  You have developed an Immunity to Change! Get it? Change is conflict. Change is uncomfortable! Change is hard. You have been protecting yourself from those things! It is totally natural!


Prepare for the mind blowing truth…but not yet, I want you to enjoy your weekend. Remember, you’re ok! Everything you do that you think is a flaw, might actually be a behavior to protect you from you. HOWEVER, the very fact that you are aware of the flaw, and that you embrace it, means you will overcome it…why? It’s just that important to you! Your body and mind are building an Immunity to Change!  Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal. More to come….


One Response to “Harvard Day 3…last post, I promise”

  1. Danielle July 5, 2011 at 7:46 pm #

    Assignment complete…

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