The blogtorial; Self-definition; and the Monk with Sweaty Palms

This blog has been written and deleted and edited and written and edited and deleted. (It was not written in one sitting as I like to do, so to you chronology people, Let It Go…it’s a blog…and it’s a bit long. No quiz this month.) Needless to say, I was “stuck”. But as Robert Pirsig wrote,

“If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then it might be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas”

― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

Songs that influenced this work–Michael Franti & Spearhead-Thank you, Deftones-Around the Fur, The Smiths-What She Said, Middle Class Rut-Aunt Betty, Jack Johnson-Staple It Together, John Mayer-Dear Marie, Wax-Rosana, Killswitch Engage-Daylight Dies, The Beastie Boys-Nonstop Disco Powerpack, Clutch-The Wolfman Kindly Requests, Mother Love Bone-Stargazer, Cody ChestnuTT-Everybody’s Brother, Michael Franti & Spearhead-Everyone Deserves Music, Nine Inch Nails-Down In It, The Steepwater Band-Back to the Bottle, Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell-Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing, Rage Against the Machine-Killing in the Name, Smashing Pumpkins-Day Dream, Dave Matthews Band-#34, Tool-Message to Harry Manback, Ice Cube-Integration, Red Hot Chilipeppers-Pea, Deftones-Lifter, Soundgarden-Pretty Noose, The Sword-To Take the Black, The White Stripes-St. Andrew, Smashing Pumpkins-Crush, Ice Cube-When Will They Shoot, Quicksand-Transparent, Freddy Jones Band-Into the Wind, Cody ChestnuTT Enough of Nothing, Freddy Jones Band-She Said, Freddy Jones Band-Wonder, Taking Back Sunday-Set Phasers to Stun, The Smiths-Hand in Glove, Crash Kings-All Along, Marvin Gaye-Inner City Blues, The White Stripes-Conquest, Tool-Third Eye, Dave Matthews Band-Dancing Nancies, Incubus-Consequence, 30 Seconds to Mars-R-Evolve, Michael Franti & Spearhead-Listener Supported, Black Label society-Destruction Overdrive, Michael Franti & Spearhead-Love, Why did you go away

Hi!…um…How are you? This is a bit awkward, huh? We haven’t shared this space in a while. Truthfully, this space is changing. We all are. I’ve been thinking about this blog, and this place (The Dhabi), and you, and writing, and school, and friends, and family, and children, and growth, and fear, and love, and loss…hey, it’s been a long time. I think a lot.

To be totally honest, I’ve been sitting at this computer for hours, full of those thoughts, and full of hesitation…and this is as far as I’ve traveled. How much should one reveal? What is my purpose with this blog? Am I filling a role or am I being me, the true me, without ego, without pretense, without speaking words I think you’d want to hear. See, I want to relate the real me. I can’t do that if I label myself as any one of me societal roles. In terms of the blog, I just want to be Lee. I want to write from that perspective, Lee–human being.  Sounds easy…nu-uh.

Also, I’d like to entertain, show you the sights, share some of my thoughts and the miracles that occur in everyday life. They do ya know…(sidebar—have you seen “Into the Wild”? No? Wow, see it! I’ve seen it a few times and I cry at the strangest times. Tonight, I turned it on right at the section about gaining wisdom, about getting out of your comfort zone, about how anyone can learn from anyone…and I do everyday. That, my friends, is the kind of everyday miracle I am talking about.) I am getting comfortable here, so I need to stretch it a bit.

Remember “The Real World” on MTV? Is it still on? Anyway, the opening intro said it was a show about how strangers are forced together and what happens when people stop being polite and start being real…or something like that. Well, we were raised to be real polite, in fact, to be polite-r than most (yes, I make up words…what, is this your first blog?). Another sidebar—my father is asleep in my guest room right now. Love that he’s returned to the Middle East after almost 40 years. I love having him here. Your relationship as a child changes without notice until major life changes create separation or some kind of defined change. We’ve had a few. Since the loss of my younger brother in 2008, this has been a big change for both of us. I am his namesake, and his only son, and I live 7500 miles away…not easy, even for a tough guy like him. He arrived the day before his 77^th birthday…wanna see?

Dad and me on his 77th in front of the Burj Al Arab in Dubai. To think, He’s almost twice the age of this country–still looks good, too! Just ask him 😉

Dad’s birthday meal with Aziz and Ahmed at a swanky Emirati restaurant in the Dubai Mall. Great food and great company! They give you cologne and essential oils to freshen up at the end of the meal. I smell Oud!

So, back to the real world. Work has become interesting. I LOVE what I do, and I am lucky to work with some really hardworking people…but Dorothy, we ain’t in Kansas, anymore (American colloquialism for my international reader). Life just works at a different speed here. The reform we told we were taking part in is a bit different than described. In fact, it’s way more challenging. In my interview, I asked if they had “turnaround” schools…I like a school with a strong heart that is looking for a change. Well, I got one. The people and the kids are great. They want the change, but “this is how we always do it” has prevailed for so long that the options don’t appear. The bottom line is, schools are people. Parents want what ‘s best, kids want to learn, teachers want to share their art, and administrators…well, that’s our mission, to make all that happen. All I have to do is keep those things in mind, everyday, through the discipline, the illnesses of staff and students, the 752 accountability measures (give or take a hundred), the standardized testing, and now, through the language barrier…with your students, with your teachers, with your admin team, with your parents, and with the community. Ever seen Arabic!? At least with French or Spanish, you can guess…nu-uh, not happening here. You know what, though? I freakin’ love it!

This is “the yard” before the storm, uh, school day. I stand in front of this everyday. So much potential in this space. One has to see the possibilities, the opportunities for growth; lives change here, everyday. So cool!

So, yes, I’ve had to have some hard conversations with fellow admins, teachers, and superiors. All challenging, all uncomfortable, all growth experiences. They are teaching me, everyday. For that, I am grateful.

We are required to do a minimum number of hours of Professional Development every week. This year the accountability police are on it. Our school is out in the sticks, uh dunes, and there is a belief that “central office” never checks on the schools “off island” (out of the city)…that’s us. We’re so off island that the sign to our school is under a sand drift. ( I wanted to say it has Jed Clampett pickin’ a banjo and sayin’ “atta way”, but that reference might be too narrow.) Thus, many believe we won’t get visited. Well, the #2 man in charge showed up the second week of school and made the whole place nervous. Now, there is a new number 1, a female (YES, Sistahs makin’ waves!) and she has vowed to visit all the schools. So, I stress…grinding teeth, headaches, you know, stress. Here’s why: We are a special community and our culture is not the same as the culture in the city, yet the expectations are the same. So, that is the challenge. Meet the city numbers with rural kids on a scale set without consideration of our statistical past. Sound familiar? Yep, it happens here, too.

So, that’s all boring to most of you. I’m a total EduNerd, and I love that stuff. However, I am WAAAY behind, so let’s look at some pictures! K? MmmmmK!

Green Day Assembly. Look at the little dudes dressed as fruit! They don’t eat it, but they love the costumes. I sometimes carry grapes around at lunch and offer them to the boys. They give me the “Gas Face”! 3rd Bass fans, ya feel me?

Overhead of boys assembling for “Green Day”. No, not the band, the day! It’s a celebration of eating healthy and staying active. Apparently, we were supposed to wear green that day. The two little ones in the foreground didn’t get the memo and had to sit out…yeah, there was no memo. There never is. We don’t have a school calendar. I hear other schools do. It’s on my to-do list.

For when you’re driving through a vacuum in space.

One might call this “overkill”. Not here, more lights, more better!

The boys love sharing their culture. Prior to the picture they parted and made me sit with them. Imagine 900 Dennis the Menaces…in Kandooras.

This is me hanging with the boys watching a rehearsal. Here’s an idea…let’s give them swords and heavy iron toy guns. The kids in the distance are following one boy who is chanting, from memory, for about 10 minutes. Impressive.

An amazing camping location about 2 hours from Abu Dhabi, in Fujeirah. That’s Snoopy (Island) taking a nap.

The campsite before everyone showed up. Add about 12 more people and 8 countries of origin. Lots of charades and trivial pursuit and health food and juice and water. Kinda.

There are signs everywhere. It took me years to recognize and accept them. I’ve always preached love, but I had a hard time with deserving it. I do. So, do you. The signs are there if your heart is open.

Signs. We are just visiting.

These are pathways the water takes to get back to the ocean.

I love this picture. See the established pathways? That is how your brain works. On this particular day, the majority of the water will run down the larger, more established pathways. Your brain does that with problem solving and other decision making tasks. It gets accustomed to thinking through something the same way, over and over. However, these pathways don’t have to be permanent. In fact, I’m quite sure after high tide these pathways will change. So? Well, this is what we do in education. Students come in with established thought pathways and it is our job to help them explore other pathways of thought. If we continue to think the same way and use the same shortcuts, then we neglect creativity. Look at all the potential for other thought processes here. Our children need options for thought, not shortcuts to answers. The world requires creative minds.

If Smoke-flavored bacon is made over a campfire and infused with smoke, is it then double-smoked and twice as good? Yes, yes it is. Bacon good.

 

The hairpin turn at the Yas Marina F1 track (they call it a “circuit” here). On Tuesdays you can run, walk, or bike it. Google it, it’s cool

 

Crepuscular rays. Cool.

Spelling optional here.

This is a rather morbid traffic safety demonstration presented by the students. Of course, they all cheer the crazy driver and the crash. I’m not sure this program is effective. Google traffic accidents in the UAE. Gruesome.

This is one of the most impressive graphic organizers I’ve ever seen. Plus, if you’ve ever heard my lecture on Emily Dickinson, then you know I LOVE concentric circles! What? You’ve never heard my lecture on Emily Dickinson!? Spice up your life, my friend!

 

Movie Night at Sky Tower. A laptop and a projector (or, “data show”) and Troy. Who’s dreamier? Bana or Pitt? (No feet comments, please. I rarely trip over them…anymore.)

 

Waves of clouds over the city.

Insanely gaudy lighting fixtures–YES! Cincinnati Fashion–not so much.

I was invited to join a monthly pot luck dinner club. Last month was comfort food. This is my baked Eggplant Parmesan.

So, the dinner club reminded me of the roles we play. While I am very proud to be an administrator or a father or a son or someone who cooks, none of these roles define me. I’ve been struggling with that lately. Who am I? How do I define me? This topic confuses many of us. What I’ve learned is I should not spend time creating conceptual definitions of who I am. How can one person carry all that around everywhere? These definitions get in the way of “me”, of self. They get in the way of being present. I spent many years not being present; trying to keep up with who I thought you wanted to talk to. A maddening practice. All of those titles are egoic. I’m trying to get away from those loaded definitions and just be…just be. So, it’s ok to not know. The hard part is remembering to clear away those titles and let me be present for every encounter. Confusion is a gathering of thoughts that aren’t your own. I find it interesting that many of Confucius’ aphorisms are about simplicity, and oneness…not confusing, at all. (All from Eggplant Parm–hey, I’m hungry.)

Uh, who doesn’t want to hang out here?

I wonder what they sell? (Also, Houston Oilers fans, ever wondered what happened to Billy Johnson? Here’s his store.)

A really pregnant camel…for 12 months! “Get it out! Get it out, now!”

This just came to me during a seminar. Doctoral thesis idea. (yes, my handwriting stinks–get over it.)

So, this graphic just kinda came to me. I believe this is what we do to gifted kids in schools. They are particularly under-served during the middle years. First, we have to agree on what “gifted” means. I am not getting into that with you…right now. The idea is in its infancy; I’m just not ready to develop the whole thing, yet.

His brother’s place, One Kind of Burger, didn’t do well. Nearby is Hot Burger. HIS brother’s place, Cold Burger, did not fare well, either. (That’s Salon, not a Saloon–there are Saloons for Men every 50 meters here.)

See the Wonka-vator? It goes up a whole two stories! Don’t be surprised.

This is a Gorilla made entirely from wire hangers. I think I know why he’s angry. (Enter your “Mommie Dearest” line here…)

On your left is THE Mark C. Thompson, guru, business consultant to some dudes named Jobs, Gates, Branson…to name a few. The other guy? Photobomb.

So, yes, I met him. It was an amazing evening. I floated all the way home. It is no secret I love what these guys do. I read Dan Pink, Dan Gilbert, the Heaths, Spencer Johnson, Jon Gordon, Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Rob Bell, all of them. I like what they do, and I’d love to do it one day. I am not ready. I have the desire, but not the experience or readiness, yet.

The Monk with Sweaty Palms

Kasan, a Zen teacher and monk, was to officiate at a funeral of a famous nobleman. As he stood there waiting for the governor of the province and other lords and ladies to arrive, he noticed that the palms of his hands were sweaty.

The next day he called his disciples together and confessed he was not yet ready to be a true teacher. He explained to them that he still lacked the sameness of bearing before all human beings, whether beggar or king. 

He was still unable to look through social roles and conceptual identities and see the sameness of being in every human. He then left and become the pupil of another master. The returned to his former disciples eight years later, enlightened.

– A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

I am a pupil.

The pupil at wonder.

Thank you for sticking it out to the end. As I said hours ago when you started reading this, I was stuck for a while. I thought that meant I couldn’t think. Rather, “stuckness” is a good thing. It is a singular focus and requires action.

So, I have spent a lot of time searching…for many things. What a mistake. When you search for love, do you find it? When you search for happiness, do you find it? When you search for yourself, do you find it? No, at least, not for me. All of these things come when you’re ready. When you are you, not a role, not a title, not a job, not a state of mind. I will be trying to strip away those things that are ego-created and ego-craved, and just be me. You see, we are not our ego. We are under it, or beyond it, but we have to step back and see ourselves…new to me. Thank you for giving me that.

Peace and love to you all,

Lee